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07 febrero 2008
It's half 8 here and I still haven't decided if I am going into what I called work this morning! If I do go, I'll only be going for a very short time to get my personal stuff, leave the keys and bankcard etc and then I'm off!
don't feel this eek as if I've lost anything but my jeans are telling another story! They are all baggy at the bum! Hmmmm really funny considering they were the jeans I originally bought when I lost my first bit of weight here on FS...!
(5 comentarios)
06 febrero 2008
When I stress, as hard as I try, I feel so ill that nothing stays down for too long and that has been my biggest problem today! Yes, outwardly and to look at I'm as calm as can be but inwardly my mind is going 100miles and hour and my stomach is in huge knots! I'm dreading Tony and Dad coming home because I can't hide the stress and the second I have dinner and it all comes up again Tony will clock on that I'm stressing about something and will quiz me about it until i tell him! I don't want him to worry about this as I have things in hand for the moment.
Ps. just re-read this post and just an after though note... not being able to keep any food down is physical and not me causing myself to throw up!
(2 comentarios)
06 febrero 2008
Hey ho great day... just been told that the company I work for is closing as soon as possible and I'll be out of a job! Great!!!!! NOT! Won't be getting paid at the end of the month either - there is NO money!
Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!
Don't know what to do... think think think!
(5 comentarios)
05 febrero 2008
Right, so I've now completed this weeks Team Point Lap Challenge and I did it at work! I know, very naughty of me but I'm so bored today! I've got a ton of work to finish up but just cannot get motivated to do it!
I've just been told by Tony that instead of having Harry tonight, we are now having him on Valentines night which I am not happy about because I've already planned a very romantic evening in at home and my dad is going out (first time in 2 months!!!) plus it's our one year anniversary! I know she's done it purposefully and I refuse to let her upset me but I had a go at Tony for agree'ing to have him that night! I also know that was wrong but I couldn't stop myself! Because Harry cannot know where we now live (We don't want his mother knowing where we live) it means he cannot come to our new house and it also means we cannot go out for dinner as no-where is taking children on that night - so it's looking like we are spending our first anniversary with Harry at Tony's mums house! Nice and romantic that is hey?? Bloody devious little b**ch!
(2 comentarios)
04 febrero 2008
This morning I wrote a LOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGG journal entry...with a age restriction warning of 21 and over... mostly just having a rather nasty and angry vent about my youngest stepsons devious and evil mother (yes once again!) and the hurt, emotional anguish and upset she has caused in my life recently, especially last night and then went to hit the save and the darn website was "temporarily offline for an upgrade"! I don't know if I was relieved that all of you wouldn't read what a complete and utter mess I was in over what she'd said last night or upset because I really wanted some sort of advice to help me get through what I'm having to be forced to deal with in my life!
Sometimes I think it would be best for all of us, especially me, if I just walked away completely and allowed her to feel as if she'd won and other times I think "stuff you" (trying not to swear here!) I have every right to be happy with my husband and I WILL NOT allow you to beat me... In all honesty, she frightens the living daylights out of me because she is so unpredictable. She once threatened to send her father around "for a cup of tea" (said in a very sarcastic voice) and "maybe a little chat" (even more sarcastic) to "make us understand" that we are
only
glorified babysitters and have
NO
right to her son! (Her father is a well known thug in our area!) oh I just don't know who to talk to or who to turn to about this because it's something I am very emotional about and very very angry over!
Back to the diet part of this journal. Today is my detox day so it means that I'm on liquids only! Great, especially in the mood I'm in... a bottle or two of vodka will go down quite nicely right now thanks...! Hahaha!
(6 comentarios)
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