Diario de MamaShea2009, 25 ene. 12

Warning: Journaling mostly if I care to look back and reflect---

Blah day/blah mood. Didn't want to wake up to go to Zumba- I did end up going but rolled outta the bed at 5:00 to be there by 5:15. Did my workout and I actually thought my reps and stuff was fine (my heart rate was in same place) but I only burned 475 calories today. Guess the machines knew better than I did or something.....

So yeah, day started crappy and I guess maybe it will turn around. Maybe one of the reasons why I'm never good at sticking to anything is because I always tend to do things for other people and not myself. Ie: didn't go far away for college because mom didn't want me to- I don't know, now I pause and guess maybe it's not all really that. But anyhow, I mean, I know I should be healthy, but I'm just not enjoying this and it's no surprise because I haven't enjoyed life in so many years. I don't have time to go into my mental health issues, but that's why I don't enjoy life anymore and it's too complicated to write here, but it's like that driving force in the mind isn't me and so then I think: why am I doing this. I do really love to dance, but what if you felt like for so many years, the voice in your head just wasn't you anymore- and that's the voice that gets the credit for everything and gets all the joy. Yeah, I know- it's crazy.

So, yeah, weight stayed about the same. Running out of healthy food choices in the house so....probably gonna gain in the next few days. :-( I'm gonna try my best to stay afloat, but again, if there is no joy in it- why do I keep going everyday? Kinda feel like I watch my life go by instead of living it!

Sorry guys- I warned you, more of a reflection journal moreso than anything. Guess it's off to do some laundry. No dancing to ipod planned for today.

Ver Calendario de Dieta, 25 enero 2012:
1620 kcal Grasa: 90,83g | Prot: 77,71g | Carbh: 138,97g.   Desayuno: kashi crisp, light silk vanilla, peanut butter. Almuerzo: chicken nuggets, brown and serve turkey sausage, southern home spinach. Cena: avacado, newman's own oil and vinegar, frozen chicken, lettuce, tomatoe. Pasa Bocas / Otros: fiber one bar, mayonnaise, steak fries. más...
2956 kcal Ejercicio: Caminar (Moderado) - 5/kph - 10 minutos, Trotar - 8/kph - 7 minutos, Bailando (Paso Rápido, Aeróbica) - 12 minutos, Circuito de Entrenamiento - 35 minutos, Descansando - 14 horas y 56 minutos, Durmiendo - 8 horas. más...

   Apoyo   

Comentarios 
You are amazing - you just don't know it yet. You didn't feel like it but you got out of bed and went to Zumba anyway. Do you know how great that is? A lot of us (especially me) only exercise when we feel like it. You didn't make that effort for anyone but you. Forget about what the machines said - you deserve a Gold Medal. 
25 ene. 12 por el miembro: BuffyBear
Thanks Buffy....I appreciate that! Guess people really hate to read sad stuff.... 
26 ene. 12 por el miembro: MamaShea2009

     
 

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