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Warning: Journaling mostly if I care to look back and reflect---
Blah day/blah mood. Didn't want to wake up to go to Zumba- I did end up going but rolled outta the bed at 5:00 to be there by 5:15. Did my workout and I actually thought my reps and stuff was fine (my heart rate was in same place) but I only burned 475 calories today. Guess the machines knew better than I did or something.....
So yeah, day started crappy and I guess maybe it will turn around. Maybe one of the reasons why I'm never good at sticking to anything is because I always tend to do things for other people and not myself. Ie: didn't go far away for college because mom didn't want me to- I don't know, now I pause and guess maybe it's not all really that. But anyhow, I mean, I know I should be healthy, but I'm just not enjoying this and it's no surprise because I haven't enjoyed life in so many years. I don't have time to go into my mental health issues, but that's why I don't enjoy life anymore and it's too complicated to write here, but it's like that driving force in the mind isn't me and so then I think: why am I doing this. I do really love to dance, but what if you felt like for so many years, the voice in your head just wasn't you anymore- and that's the voice that gets the credit for everything and gets all the joy. Yeah, I know- it's crazy.
So, yeah, weight stayed about the same. Running out of healthy food choices in the house so....probably gonna gain in the next few days. :-( I'm gonna try my best to stay afloat, but again, if there is no joy in it- why do I keep going everyday? Kinda feel like I watch my life go by instead of living it!
Sorry guys- I warned you, more of a reflection journal moreso than anything. Guess it's off to do some laundry. No dancing to ipod planned for today.
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1620 kcal
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Grasa: 90,83g | Prot: 77,71g | Carbh: 138,97g.
Desayuno: kashi crisp, light silk vanilla, peanut butter. Almuerzo: chicken nuggets, brown and serve turkey sausage, southern home spinach. Cena: avacado, newman's own oil and vinegar, frozen chicken, lettuce, tomatoe. Pasa Bocas / Otros: fiber one bar, mayonnaise, steak fries. más...
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2956 kcal
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Ejercicio:
Caminar (Moderado) - 5/kph - 10 minutos, Trotar - 8/kph - 7 minutos, Bailando (Paso Rápido, Aeróbica) - 12 minutos, Circuito de Entrenamiento - 35 minutos, Descansando - 14 horas y 56 minutos, Durmiendo - 8 horas. más...
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