Diario de e-238, 26 oct. 18

I'm in the middle of a major depressive episode. And I'm chronically depressed. And despite taking my anti-binge eating meds I've been bingeing. BAdly. I'
m trying really hard to not binge (and it's easier since there isn't a lot left in the house that I would eat LMAO).

I put off weighing myself until today but did it anyway.
I've somehow gone from 193 to 191.

Which feels bizarre because I would swear that I am fatter and bloated. even my neck feels fatter. I genuinely expected to weigh in with about 10 pounds more on me. What is wrong with my eyes/brain that I can't see me as otehr people eyes see me? I, ah, don't know how to fix my brain to tell / see when my body is losing weight.

Anyway. I have managed not to kill myself this week (it's been on my mind almost constantly)but my husband is being supportive, and of course, I know he could handle it, but I don't think he would be able to take care of our cats properly, and I don't know if my best friend would be able to take them for him....and she's the only person in the world I could and would trust with caring for them even though they are all needy, problematic but love babies.

86,6 kg Disminuído hasta ahora: 21,3 kg.    Aún para ir: 23,1 kg.    Dieta seguida: Poco.