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29 agosto 2007

THIN & BEAUTIFUL VS. FAT & UGLY

I've been told I am beautiful when I was both thin and overweight but I only see myself attractive as a thin person,not a fat one.

I think it's because when I was thin I'd get a lot more attention, but whenever I'd gain weight I wouldn't get the respect I used to. That made me very angry and resentful, I couldn't understand why people would judge me that way, I'm the same person as I've always been, but that's the way a lot of people in society behave unfortunately.

When I walk around without makeup a baseball cap and an oversized t-shirt on, I get less respect than I did when I had a skirt on, even from other woman. I remember how doors used to open frequently as they rarely do now. I didn't know that fat people are also ignorant and not as educated...

At times I purposly dressed "down" because of the fact I didn't want the attention, now I find myself starving for it, which I hate to admit.
Many t.v. programs demonstrated how cruel people really are when it comes down to appearance. You might have seen the beautiful woman in the fat costume walking around the city feeling what it's like to be fat. She almost had a nervous break down. And to think we live like that on a daily basis.

Did you ever have a good-looking friend? Need I say more? Well for those of you who don't understand, 9 times out of 10 they get treated much better just because they look more appealing to the human eye.

My boyfriend of 8 yrs. who is 10 years my jr.has been battling issues with weight on and off like me and since we been together in our comfort zone we gradually gained weight but for some reason, he is seen as very attractive and often called "the big guy". Often times in public, people seem to take a double look at us as if we are an odd match because we don't look like the perfectly matched couple we once used to be. I feel their eyes on me and it doesn't feel good. Some woman have even come on to my boyfriend right under my nose. They never used to when I was much more attractive.

We both have very long hair and often judged for being more of the artisy type (which we are) but sometimes I feel like I look more like his mother than his girlfriend! You may laugh,but it's true.

I know the power that other woman hold, I know how they misuse it to take advatage of certain situation and it aint pretty, I held that power to but it never changed who I was I just felt better about myself. Don't get me wrong, there's a handful of humble and modest woman out there, they can't help it that men are driven by some crazy physical force, but at times I just resent the entire idea of ever being attractive again for those reasons.

I recently tripped and fell hard while on vacation, dislocating my arm and fractured my elbow. I've been out of work for a little over a month now, and going stir crazy which which leaves me plenty of room to type(with my right hand only) and think about how fragle we are as humans. When you dont have a working limb you realize how important your body parts are.

I think now with the injury, more than ever I could use some support from an outside influence such as this site and work on myself as apposed to always being there for someone else while neglecting my own needs.

What do you think about the whole appearance thing? Any tips?

29 agosto 2007

I started my weight loss program tonight at 11pm, lol. I found out about fatsecret from watching the news this evening. I'm glad I just started this weight loss program on a whim.(Perhaps that's the fatsecret!)It feels like I just might be more successful this time since the day is almost over and I can start fresh in the morning and dream in my sleep about having a perfect body, lol.

Usually my diets start on a Monday with a well thought out plan for diet,exercise and feeling highly inspired, then I fail miserably.

I think this is an excellent way to get weight loss support and this place seems like the myspace for weight watchers and health conscious people in general.

Often times I come up with some great ideas and have no one to share them with. Now I can express them here and feel a network of support.

I enjoy reading the receipts and tips so far and look forward to making a few new weight loss buddies.

I wish you all much more continued success on your weight loss journey.

- Swamii Mommy

P.S. Nov. 29th 2007 is my goal to loose 40 pounds. All suggestions are welcome, feel free to contact me.

29 agosto 2007

Peso: Disminuído hasta ahora: Aún para ir: Dieta seguida:
78,0 kg 0 kg 21,3 kg No Aplica


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