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AmberMichelle
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04 febrero 2011
I think I did pretty good today! 35min walk with a friend. Ate well. Coffee, yogurt, apple, orange, & dinner (chicken, potato, broccoli w/some cheese) and another apple. I think that's it. But it was easier to eat less because I had coffee with the friend after our walk. I gotta have coffee more often! ZOOMMMM!!!!
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03 febrero 2011
I did okay with food again but the darn ice cream! It's gone now. So no more ice cream is in the house, so that's good. Tomorrow morning I am supposed to walk with my fellow mom friend, our kids are in the same class and we are both quite heavy. I am SO not feeling it! I do need to go to bed now before I regret not getting enough sleep come the morning time. Why is it so difficult to want to do well? Why is it even when I have an exercise buddy, I still don't want the commitment? Of course she does want to walk for over an hour, I didn't sign up for that! It is killing me! Too much too fast! But I am not sure how to tell her? I want to walk for like 45 mins, that's it! I got other stuff to do in the mornings! :( I want to eat better, I need more money for more food that is healthier! But then again, when I buy fruit and stuff, I and hungrier than that! I don't want an ORANGE! I WANT a BURGER DAMNIT!!! :( Geez.... I feel like I need some drastic mental change, because I am not okay. I am not happy being fat, but I am not diciplined enough to make myself do what I really want, and I really want to be an entirely different person. i just don't really love myself or like myself. I never really have. And I don't know how to fix it.
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02 febrero 2011
Well, other than the ice cream sandwich, I did alright. No exercise though, so that's not too good. I am ready though. Food diary is SO gonna happen now.
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31 enero 2011
Was off to a good start this morning. Ate decent, but then ate a bunch of ice cream! Why?! Sat here ALL morning watching celebrity slimdowns. Sat and sat and sat. If I am going to lose weight and have any luck looking good in my life, I gotta quit slipping up, get up, and burn my body thinner!
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31 enero 2011
My weight as of Friday Jan 28th was 197lbs. Thia week I plan to get back on track! I just have to keep picking myself back up and up and up again. I have a terrible time sticking with ANYTHING! I want to be a success in my life! With my weight. With my schooling and eventual career. With raising happy and healthy kids! I want to be a good example to them and I want to be proud of myself and have a good self-image and good self-esteem. I want to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop being ashamed of my weight and lack of beauty. I know that I can create myself into thinking I am beautiful, but it takes work, and I need to stop being lazy about everything! And I need to stop telling myself what I need to be doing and just do it.
I am not consistent enough to write on here every day, so weekly will work for me. This week I plan to eat healthier and get some workout days in! Tomorrow I am buying some healthy foods and snacks. Little by little, conscious changes, being accountable for the discust I feel when I look at my reflection. Shouldn't that be enough?!
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