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I'm at 212 lbs. I haven't been this light in 18 years. I feel better physically and am way happier. I am still having a huge hang up with confidence. I desperately need new clothes because my pants have literally fallen to ankles twice in public. All of my shirts float on me. My underwear don't stay up. None of my shoes fit. All of this and I can't seem to have the courage to try on smaller sizes. I left the store crying. I look at a size 16 and know it should fit, but it looks way to small to fit the image in my head. I decided to go through my clothes because I was seriously still wearing things that were size 26. I got rid of pretty much everything. Even some of my "skinny" clothes (18). I've received gift cards for new clothes and they sit in my wallet. I spent most of my adult life obese. Having severe depression made it easy to not really care. I'm angry at myself for ruining my body permanently. I'm getting bingo wings and the skin on my stomach feels like pudding in a ziploc bag. I may be healthier but I'm not ever going to have a nice body again. I don't expect to have the body I had when I was young, but I still feel angry and disappointed with myself. Ok enough pity party. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head and acknowledge them. I don't really have anyone to vent to.
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